Tuesday, May 29, 2012

It is by divine design that the role of motherhood emphasizes the nurturing and teaching of the next generation


Divine Design of Motherhood emphasizes the nurturing and teaching of the next generation
By Michelle Sim given 6/13/2010

There are some lines attributed to Victor Hugo which read:
“She broke the bread into two fragments and gave them to her children, who ate with eagerness.
‘She hath kept none for herself,’ grumbled the sergeant.
‘Because she is not hungry’, said a soldier.
‘No,’ said the sergeant, ‘because she is a mother.’”
Elder L. Tome Perry said, “I believe it is by divine design that the role of motherhood emphasizes the nurturing and teaching of the next generation.”
We learn from this that mothers are designed to nurture and teach the next generation.  And I think not only that, it is imperative for us to do so.
But how do we go forth in teaching our children, and knowing what is best for them?

-Mothers Intuition-
I remember many years ago my mother teaching me about intuition, more importantly, mother’s intuition.  She taught me that as mothers we do have a special connection with our children-in knowing what they need and what is best for them.  Mother’s intuition partnered with the Holy Spirit can be a powerful tool in raising our children.
My brother was born with a kidney infection.  Through fasting, prayers, and a few miracles he made it home to us.  A short time later my mom had a feeling she needed to take him in, that he may have an infection again.  The doctor was a little cocky and did a basic test on him and said, no, no everything is fine.  But she knew what she felt and said NO you run a full test on him.  He rolled his eyes and agreed to do more testing.  He came back a short time later and said well, you were right he does have an infection again.  He never questioned her judgment after that.
I think many of us have had these experiences and we see how important it is to follow the spirit and what we feel inside.
In a two-year study conducted at the Birth and Women’s Health Center in Tucson, Arizona, researchers asked 100 pregnant women to predict whether they would give birth to a girl or a boy.  Women who claimed to have an intuition about the gender of their child made the right choice over 70 percent of the time.
“One of the interesting findings to come out of this study,” explains the researcher, “is that women who have a preference for one gender or the other don’t tend to have accurate intuitions.  The point is that there’s a big difference between what you want to happen and what your intuition tells you is going to happen.  When a woman really wants either a girl or a boy, her desire gets in the way of her intuitive ability.”
I think this can also relate, to what we want or hope our children will accomplish.  As mothers we naturally want the best for our children in every way.  We have many hopes and expectations for them to live up to.  Sometimes we compare our children to others children.  For many it starts early on-when will they start crawling?  So-and-so’s baby is already crawling and mine can’t even sit up yet and they are the same age.  When is my child going to read books with more substance?  So- and-so’s child is in preschool reading Pride and Prejudice and my 4th grader is reading Horrible Harry.
Of course these are silly situations but on some level I think we have all experienced these feelings.  However, we need to make sure that first, we never compare our children to others as they are so vastly different.  Second, what we want for our children and what is most important for them to accomplish should be guided by the spirit.
I read an article recently of a girl who graduated from NYU.  Her mother pushed for her to get into the best college she could, no matter the cost, and she thought they could figure out the money part later.  Now, her daughter has $100,000 in tuition and school debt and no way to pay it back and no end in sight.  If we are so focused on what we want for our children and go our own path we will miss important promptings and guidance from the spirit on what Heavenly Father wants for his children.

-God’s Children-
I had an experience recently that made me realize…although these are my children on earth and I cling to them as all my own, they are Heavenly Father’s children of whom I have stewardship over on this earth.  He has entrusted me-us as parents as mothers to rear his children, to teach them of him, of Christ, of Prayer, that they may remember him and have the desire to return to him.
Many feel afraid or nervous to have children in these latter days.  There is so much wickedness and obstacles for them to overcome.  But they need to come, to gain a body, and fulfill Gods’ plan for them.
It is clear from birth, children of today are naturally strong-willed, smart, eager to learn, and determined.  If they are given no guidance they will most likely be overtaken and fall from the wickedness we see around us.  But as women of today we have been set aside to raise the next generation just as they have been set aside to come to earth in these days.  And if we teach them by the spirit, nurture them, and watch over them, they will be mighty and they will be able to conquer all of the trials that come down their path and return with honor to their Heavenly Father.
I have heard our prophets and apostles many times speak about their experiences of childhood and their mother’s example.  From making plates of food for every widower in the ward, to teaching the importance of reverence and respect in our prayers to our Father in Heaven, what wonderful examples these women are to us in showing that diligence in teaching their children important values and principles, most times by example, can help these children come to do great things.

-Am I living how I want to teach my children?-
Elder M. Russell Ballard said, “There is no one perfect way to be a good mother.  Each situation is unique.  Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children.  The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family…What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.”
Family A Proclamation to the World-“Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve on another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live….by divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.  Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.   In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”
Although we as mothers were born to fulfill this duty, it does not mean we are always going to know what to do in every situation, or always make the right decisions, or have all the answers.  Sometimes we will make mistakes, our children will make mistakes.   But when we fall we get back up again and tell ourselves I will do better.  I will keep trying. Through prayer and scripture study we will never be alone and we can always find the answers if we ask and search diligently.
I quote Elder Jeffrey R Holland: Like the woman who anonymously, meekly, perhaps even with hesitation and some embarrassment, fought her way through the crowd just to touch the hem of the Master’s garment, so Christ will say to the women who worry and wonder and sometimes weep over their responsibility as mothers, “Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith had made thee whole.”  And it will make your children whole as well.

Jacob 5:54 And, behold, the roots of the natural branches of the tree which I planted whithersoever I would are yet alive; wherefore, that I may preserve them also for mine own purpose, I will take of the branches of this tree, and I will graft them in unto them.  Yea, I will graft in unto them the branches of their mother tree, that I may preserve the roots also unto mine own self, that when they shall be sufficiently strong perhaps they may bring forth good fruit unto me, and I may yet have glory in the fruit of my vineyard.
The Lord did not graft into the natural branches, branches from a father tree, or a babysitter tree, or a government tree, he grafted unto them the branches of their mother tree that they may bring forth good fruit unto Him.
Elder L. Tome Perry said, “Parents must bring light and truth into their homes by one family prayer, one scripture study session, one family home evening, one book read aloud, one song, and one family meal at a time.  They know that the influence of righteous, conscientious, persistant, daily parenting is among the most powerful and sustain forces for good in the world.  The health of any society, the happiness of its people, their prosperity, and their peace all find common roots in the teaching of children in the home.”

I testify that motherhood is a divinely designed role.  It is a great challenge, I know we will have to overcome many obstacles, but it is also a great blessing and service to our children and Father in Heaven.  I am grateful for my mother and her example to me, for teaching me the gospel and how to make right choices.  I know that if we follow the good examples of our mothers and if we live our lives in a way that will help the spirit to dwell with us always, our children will be greatly blessed.